all told i will have been alone for a whole month by the time i see him again. it's quiet at night and kinda scary. the house makes weird noises and i'm not sleeping especially well. most nights i barricade the doors, hole up in the bedroom, and just stay there with the tv on. if i have to leave the bedroom for any reason, i turn on all the lights in the house.

on the flip side, though, i get to make as much noise as i want to in the morning without fear of waking anyone. on the weekends i can be up and working around the house at 7 or 8 am.

when i do all the dishes at night they're still clean the next day when i get home from work. the bed stays made. when i sweep the floors, they stay clean. if i go out with friends i can stay out as late as i want or go home as early as i want.

the doors stay shut, the a/c stays turned down, the food stays uneaten. of course, the grass stays uncut, the garbage doesn't get taken out, and the mail stays sitting in the mailbox too.

i wish i could call and chat with him like old times but it just wouldn't work out. we're on the wrong coasts for that. i need to be on the west coast with him on the east for our schedules to line up. the way we are right now, i'm ready to fall asleep just as his day is getting going and he's needing to talk to people out there.

absence makes the heart grow fonder, though, right?